Not Letting Life Rule You

My husband has a different schedule than some men. It used to horrible,but over the last few years it has straightened out a lot. When we first got married it was insane the amount it changed from week to week. He works in Law Enforcement and it is similar to any kind of hospital job. We were only married 4 months when we got pregnant and 9 1/2 months later we had our first son. It's then that I began to hate his job. The shift changed each week still and it was 12 hour shifts. A crying baby, breastfeeding problems,and recovering from a c-section made it even worse. Some weeks he never was home on time. We didn't have help 15 or 20 minutes down the road and had no friends. It was so hard. I became bitter towards his job and supervisors. They weren't even really at fault! I had to have someone to blame.

When our first born turned 1 we found out we were pregnant with our second child. It was the same thing over. Long nights and long days. I am naturally a routine person. My Mother says I came out on a schedule. You can imagine what I was like with absolutely no schedule. Irritable, cranky,and irrational. I kept wishing and dreaming for another job for my husband. I knew he was called to do what he was doing,but I was tired of doing it alone it seemed. That by no means insinuates that my husband never helped. He helped SO much when he was home,but when he was at work he rarely got a minute to stop by. They keep him pretty busy,no really busy. He had to go work details that took him out of town for 4-5 days and I was weary. I needed a routine so bad. I needed to know which day it was instead of feeling so lost. Since his job was not a 8-5 Monday-Friday, it was hard to have my days figured out. It was bad enough having one person in the house on a totally different schedule. By the time my second son was almost a year old I made my mind up, something had to change.

Sleep was getting easier with my oldest,who as a baby/toddler, hated to sleep. My second son slept much better than his older brother. We started implementing a bedtime because since my first came into the world my life was turned upside down. I wanted them asleep by at least 9. That gave me an hour to wind down and spend time with my husband, whose schedule was beginning to become more sensible. He was put on a shift and rarely had a different one unless he had court or school. I had struggled to read my Bible. Oh man. I was so used to having 2-3 hours every morning to pray and read the Word. That went out the window when the babies arrived. I somehow found time for a little reading and had to learn to pray throughout the day. It was not easy,but I had to have the boys and I on a schedule. I did not let it slide on my husband's off days,which are different each week. Things began to get much better. Good thing it did,because I was pregnant with my third son,when our second one turned a year old.

We are still on a schedule that has gotten much better. My oldest is 5 now. My second to oldest is 3 1/2 and my youngest will be 2 in a couple of weeks. Sometimes you just have to take life by the horns and not let it rule you. There was nothing I could do about my husband's job. I had to get over myself and get with the program. My children and husband needed me. God gave me the strength and grace to make it. I no longer hate my husband's job like I did. He is ministering to many people and many of his co-workers. God is using him mightily and blessing us. A quote I heard from a movie we watched last night (Faith Like Potatoes), "The best condition for a miracle is difficulty." How true is that. Never forget the God who formed you and who knows just what to do.