Monday, March 1, 2010

At the Well-Who Rules Your Life?

Today is the start of our weekly study God Who Are You? At the Well. Go check it out,if you haven't! It's really wonderful and I am learning more about the God I serve.

Today's Discussion Question: Who is the master of your life? Who are you allowing to rule over you? Your job? Baggage from the past? Unforgiveness? Hatred? Anger? Unhappiness? Your children? 

What a question! I realized over the past week that I am allowing fear to rule my life. I used to be bound by the horror type fear from movies I was exposed too by family and movies I watched myself. It was horrible! It got to the point of me laying in bed at night (when I lived with my parents) and praying myself to sleep I was so terrified! My Daddy loves the sci-fi channel and that fear spirit was in our home so strong or to me it was (Praise the Lord, he accepted Christ 2 years ago and realized that sort of stuff isn't healthy for anyone). In 2006 I was set free from that fear. It feels amazing to not be scared to walk through a house in the dark at night or to stay at home all night without my husband when he has to work nights. I am no longer scared of the dark. Those things can bring such a fear upon someone, so I believe it's imperative we are careful what we lay our eyes upon,even as David speaks about in the Psalm 101:3,  I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.

But as I said above, I realized another fear has taken hold of me. It was so subtle I didn't recognize it. The fear of failing has been binding me. Most days I don't feel I'm cut out to be a Mother. Wow, it is so overwhelming. I feel so small and so no equipped. After a failed VBAC, my confidence was really hit hard. I tried so hard to have a VBAC and if that wasn't enough, I couldn't breastfeed as long as I desired either. That was the kicker. You ladies know how those hormones are after having a baby,WACK! I slowly let those things make me feel like I could do nothing. I was afraid to take the boys out by myself because I thought I just can't do this,it's too hard. I was afraid to travel to see family without my husband because I thought there is no way I can handle them both. It just took over my daily life. I realized that yesterday on my way to visit the in-laws. God showed me I can do those things and more! If I will lean on Him and not myself! I truly desire to be the Mother God wants me to be everyday. Is it hard? YES! If someone tells you it's not,they have no clue. I know that with the Holy Spirit working through me I can do the things I see as hard and do it with confidence. Beth Moore has been doing a study on our confidence in Christ and I have gained so much from it! I am a daughter of the King of Kings!! I have the right to have confidence in myself through Christ! I don't have to let the devil beat me down,I can,but I choose not too! So I have decided to not let the fear bind me any longer. I will never grow if I let the fear of failure hold me back! I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me!

Have a blessed day! What is holding you back?


  1. WOW Heather! Praise God for the first fear and I love your profession of faith on the second, for YOU are not a failure and you need not fear! YES YOU CAN & WILL DO ALL THRU CHRIST!

    Though I don't know you, I'm sure you are a good mom...but get help and if you don't have a mentor maybe that would help you.

    Praise God for your dad also!

    Good report here! I did not have an answer, so I'm still searching and allowing God to search me.

  2. Thanks for sharing this.
    "The fear of failing has been binding me. Most days I don't feel I'm cut out to be a Mother. Wow, it is so overwhelming. I feel so small and so no equipped."

    I too have this struggle occasionally. Just recently I read a devotion that mentioned scripture after sripture of someone
    God called and then pointed out that they did not fail and then said, if God has called you, then you will not fail! It was so comforting to know that even with all my weakness, He will not let me fail because this is His thing, not just mine!

    One more thing, my fourth (of nine) was a 'failed' VBAC that I was believing so hard for! I mean I was so sure this was God and in Jesus name I was going to do it. Boy was I shook when I didn't. All these years later I can still feel what that felt like and how it really paralyzed me with being able to trust God and trust myself. Know that you will have learned a great lesson from that and that He did not fail you, and YOU DID NOT FAIL Him!

  3. Heather...fear of failure is right at the top of my list of things that tend to rule over me, too. I'm a perfectionist by nature and want to suceed in everything that I do. Is wanting to suceed in everything wrong? No. But it's the obession of it that diverts my attention from what truly matters- doing it with excellence and for God's glory.

    One of my biggest struggles has been, like you, fearing I will fail as a mother. Because of this I shut out my oldest child emotionally for the first few years of her life. I didn't want to fail her, so I thought if I pushed her away she would be "safe". Boy, was I wrong!!! But, praise the Lord, not only has He restored our relationship but He has shown me that I must rely solely on Him in my parenting.

    Parenting is definitely a challenge and isn't for the faint of heart. :o) But, God promises to equip us for everything He calls us to.

    Praying that He would equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you,through the power of Jesus Christ,every good thing that is pleasing to Hhim. All glory to Hforever and ever! Amen. (Hebrews 13:21, NLT)

    Much love,

  4. Wow - thank you so much for sharing. Fear is a constant stronghold I have dealt with in my life, but I continually see God delivering. Thank you for this testimony; it challenges me to abandon fear and trust in God!


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