I started a study by Elizabeth George this week called "A Woman After God's Own Heart" and the first chapter has been about our total focus being God. Today we discussed the story of Mary and Martha. That is one that I can never read too many times. I am reminded each time I read it to be more like Mary. I miss those days of non-interruption quiet times.
I sat down this morning to start my study while Aaron was asleep and Daniel was playing on the floor. I was at a very great part and I hear my baby Aaron crying. I thought Lord, how can I have quiet times and them be real quiet times? I go to check on him and get him back to sleep in about 10 minutes. I sit back down at the table and begin again. Then, Daniel comes running to me wanting something that I cannot recall,but to him it was very important! So I get whatever it is and go back to the table. By this time my concentration is pretty broken. I finished it finally and just had lots of thoughts racing. So here they go...
See I used to struggle with how much time I had to spend with God. Now, when you don't have children or other things to do then you can spend as much time with Him as you want. I know because I used to be able to do it,but now things have changed. I struggled a lot with it too. I felt as if I wasn't a good Christian because I could not spend a certain amount of time reading my Bible and praying without distraction or interruption. I thought how horrible God must think of me,I barely have time to just sit alone. Then, I thought I can't spend more than 10 minutes quietly with Him, He must really be disappointed in me. Thank God He has been showing me the past 2 years that isn't the case at all. He started revealing to me after I had Daniel that I was serving Him by taking care of my children and husband. He showed me that by doing this I am spending time with Him. I am doing something that never can be done again,raising and rearing our children for His glory and His purpose! I am learning that as long as I attempt to have quiet time with no interruption that He is pleased. It would be different if I was being idle with my time and not doing anything but sitting around or gallivanting around town. But I am not, I am literally imparting into these precious boys values,morals,and His Word. I am His servant and for now I am serving this little ones. I will always serve them in many ways,but right now they are so young they need me so much! Aaron can't do anything on his own and Daniel can do more,but still. What does it hurt to stop what I am doing,even if it is reading a study, to do something that they need? I am striving to be like Mary,to sit at his feet and get that which cannot be taken away and I know God will honor me.
Don't let the enemy lie to you. Serving is like Christ. When we serve our family first and others, we are in essence serving our Lord.
38Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
40But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
Luke 10:38-42
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
What does God mean to you?
Jenifer asked us this question at the beginning of our study At the Well. God worked through this study to revive me and to show me who He wants to be to me. So here who God is to me today.
I wrote this email to Jenifer several weeks back and it covers it all.
I wrote this email to Jenifer several weeks back and it covers it all.
I know I have told you how much I appreciate your willingness to obey God and lead us in this study,but I wanted to go in depth about how it is touched me.
After I had Aaron (the youngest) in October it was a very emotional and touchy time for me. I had a failed VBAC and could not breastfeed as long as I desired. That along with adjusting to a newborn all over really had me on the verge of depression. I cried a lot and just wanted some sort of sanity. It was so hard to press through and pray most days. I felt dazed and confused. For me,this was a first, in my short 26 years. My life just felt as if it was spinning out of control and I could do nothing about it. I felt like God was nowhere near me or my family,though He was in our hearts. I tried to devote some time each day to Bible readings,but it was so hard. There was no real structure and structure, such as a study really ministers to me. Of course I had no way to get out on my own and get a study and really didn't have the extra cash to get a study and video. When I saw this study At the Well, I had just come back to the blogging world,just in time too.
When I started the study I was still feeling dazed and alone,but through these 6 weeks God has been working in my heart and spirit. I am joyous about being a Mother,though it is the hardest thing I've done in my life yet. I was not dreading the next day each night as I lay in bed,I begin seeing that God was there and He wanted me to reach back out to Him. I stopped seeing my child as being defiant and saw him as a little boy who needed some order and some stability from his Mother. I saw my calling clear again and embraced it instead of cursing it. That was the closest I've been to depression and feeling lost in it all since before I got saved. I received Christ when I was 10 and rededicated my life at 21. But I've never had anything shake me as what I just wrote above. My confidence was also restored in myself through Christ. I have been doing this study and listening toBeth Moore on Life Today,she's one of my favorite women of God.
I can say tonight that I can't wait to wake up in the mornings and get in the Word again,I don't feel hopeless,but I feel hopeful! I can't wait to wake up to my 2 precious boys,though I know that day may not go perfect,it's an opportunity for God to work through me and them. It's still hard and I'm still learning a lot. I'm a young woman,wife,and Mother,but I am very willing to be molded to what God wants me to be. I know the hard will only make me stronger or weaker. My husband says it's the hard that is good for you in life. So thank you,Jenifer. You can share this with anyone you would like. I'm not ashamed that I was at my witts end and really felt so out of control. I know that God is in control always.
This is something else I wrote today: I have been learning that God allows hard and tough situations to happen ,so I will ask for His help and He can be my help. He doesn't delight in my sufferings, He wants to help me through them. He is my Fortress and Strong Tower! All things that happen,good or bad, God wants His glory to shine through!
Share your story of how God has been touching you! When we share our troubles and sorrows, we can really reach others,especially those who are not believers. For them to know we struggle too,but we have someone to carry us through them can make a huge difference!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thankful Thursday- Safety and Security
I love this meme! Our host for this month is Lynn @ Spiritually Unequal Marriage. She has another wonderful entry about God bringing us out of our comfort zone. Be blessed by her openness!
I have a story to go along with my post. I'll start off with that,which leads me to why I am thankful today. Monday night I was in the boys room taking down a walk-in play Sheriff house since Daniel isn't using it right now. Daniel protested,but I told him we were getting him a car bed soon and this had to go to make room for his bed. He darted off to our room where he his air mattress is and started bringing his pillows to his room where I was. I told him no not yet son! He persisted until he got the pillows and his blanket in his room. I told him we didn't have the car bed right now,but asked him if he wanted to sleep in here anyways? He shook his little head yes. I explained to him that Mama and Daddy would not be in here with him to sleep,but Jesus would keep him safe and warm. He then shakes his head again and runs to the living room saying Jesus,Jesus (not so plain,but I knew what he was saying) pointing to the picture of Jesus,Mary,and Martha. So Mike asked him if he wanted that picture in his room and he shook his head yes. He brought it to me and then went back in the living room and was pointing to a cross (with the names of God) on it trying to say cross. So Mike took that one and gave it to him too. I explained to him again that we would not be sleeping in the room with him,but Jesus would be right there with him. I told him if he needed us he could just come to our room(right next door) and get us. So Mike put him to sleep and he has slept in there every night since. He turns his "trooper" night light on (he wants to be just like his Daddy) and makes sure Jesus and the cross are there before he goes to bed. Isn't that amazing? We started talking to him about Jesus and God when he turned about 13 or 14 months. Since October of last year he was really beginning to understand it seemed and would try to say Jesus. Since then I started telling him how Jesus died on the cross for his sins,my sins,Daddy's sins,and Aaron's sins. I told him Jesus died for everyone when they do bad things and he wants to help them not do bad things. It's amazing that he took my word for it Monday night. I told him Jesus would keep him safe and warm and that was it! He had enough security in Mike and I to trust what we told him. He felt safe without us in here as long as Jesus was with him. I was a happy Mama! They realize and understand more than we will ever know!
So I'm thankful not only for the safety and security that I feel through my Savior,but also that my child feels it and he hasn't even accepted Christ into his heart! I always pray Lord, let us plant seeds in our children so that you may water them to grow and soften their hearts towards You and Your word! God is marvelous! We should feel safe and secure in His arms and in His presence! Have a blessed Thursday!
I have a story to go along with my post. I'll start off with that,which leads me to why I am thankful today. Monday night I was in the boys room taking down a walk-in play Sheriff house since Daniel isn't using it right now. Daniel protested,but I told him we were getting him a car bed soon and this had to go to make room for his bed. He darted off to our room where he his air mattress is and started bringing his pillows to his room where I was. I told him no not yet son! He persisted until he got the pillows and his blanket in his room. I told him we didn't have the car bed right now,but asked him if he wanted to sleep in here anyways? He shook his little head yes. I explained to him that Mama and Daddy would not be in here with him to sleep,but Jesus would keep him safe and warm. He then shakes his head again and runs to the living room saying Jesus,Jesus (not so plain,but I knew what he was saying) pointing to the picture of Jesus,Mary,and Martha. So Mike asked him if he wanted that picture in his room and he shook his head yes. He brought it to me and then went back in the living room and was pointing to a cross (with the names of God) on it trying to say cross. So Mike took that one and gave it to him too. I explained to him again that we would not be sleeping in the room with him,but Jesus would be right there with him. I told him if he needed us he could just come to our room(right next door) and get us. So Mike put him to sleep and he has slept in there every night since. He turns his "trooper" night light on (he wants to be just like his Daddy) and makes sure Jesus and the cross are there before he goes to bed. Isn't that amazing? We started talking to him about Jesus and God when he turned about 13 or 14 months. Since October of last year he was really beginning to understand it seemed and would try to say Jesus. Since then I started telling him how Jesus died on the cross for his sins,my sins,Daddy's sins,and Aaron's sins. I told him Jesus died for everyone when they do bad things and he wants to help them not do bad things. It's amazing that he took my word for it Monday night. I told him Jesus would keep him safe and warm and that was it! He had enough security in Mike and I to trust what we told him. He felt safe without us in here as long as Jesus was with him. I was a happy Mama! They realize and understand more than we will ever know!
So I'm thankful not only for the safety and security that I feel through my Savior,but also that my child feels it and he hasn't even accepted Christ into his heart! I always pray Lord, let us plant seeds in our children so that you may water them to grow and soften their hearts towards You and Your word! God is marvelous! We should feel safe and secure in His arms and in His presence! Have a blessed Thursday!
Monday, April 12, 2010
At the Well- Abba Father
I am so delighted to be back At the Well for our study!! I missed it so much! It's such an amazing study!! I hate that this is our last week too. I have really enjoyed getting to know more of you ladies and for ya'll get know me more. It has been a wonderful journey discovering the wonderful names of our Lord!! I pray all of you continue to know Him more and more!
Today's Discussion Question: How much do you look like your Father today? Do you stand out from the world or are you blending in like a chameleon hiding from its prey?
I pray I resemble my Father a lot,but I know I need to resemble Him much more. I desire His patience and long suffering with my children and husband. I desire His love with those who I do not know . And I desire His grace and mercy for those who I do not think deserves them. God is the essence of love. Loving my children and my husband are resembling my Father,but He also loves the unlovable ones and that I desire to do also.
I can say that I do stand out from the world. I may not look very different. I wear clothes like they do,have long,blonde hair like a lot of women,and get around the same as most do, in a vehicle. But if you ask me what we watch on our t.v., I'll let you know quickly it is very monitored. If it is not pleasing to the Lord,it isn't on our t.v. If you ask me what is my favorite music? Music that honors God and music that is fun without the vulgarity of the secular music. If you ask me how do I make it day to day? I will tell you no other way,but with the help,grace,love,mercy,and a list of God's attributes working in and through my life. If you ask me what I deem most important, I'll tell serving my Lord,loving my husband till death do us part,and raising our children to love and walk with Jesus till death finds them. We stand out as a family too. I've always wanted to be different,it's just something that burns within me. I believe it is a fire God put there to be different for His glory and fame! Not my own or my families! We are to be a strange people. That doesn't mean you have to sport Jesus t-shirts,wear no make up,wear tons of make up,or anything else. You dress modest as God commands,but ultimately your heart with come out in your lifestyle and everyday actions. That is what the world is supposed to notice about us. When they get to know us,they say hey something is different about them and they don't mind it. So stand out and show this world what God can do for them! Show them it is fun being a follower of God! We should serve Him because we love too,not because we are forced too!
God bless you ladies! God bless you hard working ladies At the Well! God bless you Jenifer for this amazing study!! love you all!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Thankful Thursday
Happy Thursday! I love Thankful Thursdays! I am glad you have joined in with us today and sharing your heart! Lynn @ Spiritually Unequal Marriage is our host this month,she has a very humbling post! Sometimes God lays things on my heart to right the week of or day before. He hasn't really laid anything particular on my heart this day. I'm going to do a list of things I am thankful for today.
- I'm thankful for my Savior. In the last several weeks I have felt so alive and refreshed. I have come out of a dry season and it feels so good! I am learning to praise God even when I don't feel like it!
- I'm thankful for my husband,he is amazing! He works hard physically and spiritually for us. He loves me no matter what! His love runs deeper than looks for me.
- I'm thankful for my 2 boys. Daniel is strong willed,but full of life. I know if we direct him in God's ways he will be one determined warrior for the Lord. Aaron is so sweet and still small. He has a very sweet spirit about him and is so happy! I'm thankful for them both!
- I'm thankful for the Word. It is so powerful! It can bring so much life and joy to a dead soul!
- I'm thankful for the little things,such as, water to quench my thirst,bread or another food to stop my hunger,and sweet tea!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Thankful Thursday
I'm running late today!!! We had to take care of some business in town and we got home not long ago. Happy Thankful Thursday! Don't forget to check out Lynn @ Spiritually Unequal Marriage.
I'm thankful for my Lord and Savior. We celebrate His resurrection Sunday and how thankful I am for that! If not for Him I would be so lost and confused! I would be without peace and joy! He is my all in all!!!
I am also thankful for a vehicle! We outgrew our Ford pickup and God blessed us with a nice Mercury Mountaineer! It looks brand new and is so awesome!! He is faithful and will bless His children!! Have a great day!!
I'm thankful for my Lord and Savior. We celebrate His resurrection Sunday and how thankful I am for that! If not for Him I would be so lost and confused! I would be without peace and joy! He is my all in all!!!
I am also thankful for a vehicle! We outgrew our Ford pickup and God blessed us with a nice Mercury Mountaineer! It looks brand new and is so awesome!! He is faithful and will bless His children!! Have a great day!!
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