Looking Back and Going Forward

It's almost 2014. Wow. Another year has come and gone. I look back and I can smile about some amazing things that happened,but I also get sad about things that did not happen. I get very sentimental around the end of every year. I think of dashed dreams,false hopes,and have many regrets. I tend to be hard on myself come the last few days of December. I think of the doors we thought would open for us that were just slammed right in our face. I think of the dreams and aspirations we had,but they never came to pass. I take it in stride and know God has the best interest and plan for our family. It's hard to accept at times, though. Letting the God of the universe orchestra my life,the big picture. It should not be hard,I mean He only created the world in just 6 days. He took dirt and made man. He took a rib and created woman. It is ridiculous that I cannot trust Him with the minuet and big details of my life. The world is a pretty big deal,so why can't I trust God with my big deals at times? It's a part of a process of learning and growing. One I am still learning.

I also think of the awesome things that happened this past year. We were able to go to the beach twice and it costs us hardly anything. We were able to go to Texas and it cost us nothing. We aren't big spenders and this was only our second year to take a vacation since the 7 years we have been married. We made memories with our boys that will never be forgotten. The year was not all full of sadness because in the dashed dreams are God's dreams,God's plans for us. How much better they are! His plans are perfect and there are without flaw! So I can take comfort in His Word and know that by allowing my dreams to slip away,He is putting new dreams into my heart and soul. How amazing! I really cannot say enough about the goodness of God. Surrendering to His will is not easy,but it is so worth it. I am a frail,flawed human and I know I will mess things up. So by surrendering it to God I have full assurance things will be just as He desires.

Closing this chapter of life,I look forward to the new year. I look forward to making more memories with our boys at home and wherever God takes us. I look forward to growing more in my faith,being stretched more,being pruned more,and being broken more. I look forward to seeing what God does in the hearts of my boys and the hearts of family, plus friends. I look forward to see what doors God closes and what doors God opens. Like the song by Darlene Czech says, I give my life to the Potter's hands. There will be bad and hard times. For without them, how would I know the goodness of God? There will be joyous,happy times too. He will give and He will take away. But I will say blessed be the name of the Lord.

If I am full of myself I have nothing to give,but if I am full of Him I have so much to give others. So I want to be broken and continually filled with the glory and light of God so I can give to others what God knows they need. I encourage you to seek God whole heartily with all that you have. Let Him take dreams of your own and replace them with what He desires. Let Him break you so He can fill you with Himself. May we be women of prayer,conviction,love,and so much more. I pray you all have a blessed last day of 2013 and have a blessed new year!

Linking up with Darlene @ Time Warp Wife for Titus 2sdays.

Surrendering to God- Our All

If you know me, you know I am a Southern girl. I was born and raised in a small county in Mississippi, the Southeast part to be exact. I never dreamed of actually living in a big city full time,maybe for a limited time,but not full time. I love lots of trees. I love open skies. I love quietness. I love the country. Creeks,rivers,ponds,fields of grass,and patches of flowers. I love the laid back,slow paced country life. Guess where I live? You guessed it, the city. A big,noisy,busy city. Ironic? Yes. Coincidence? No not at all.

It all started when I got married. The man I grew to love was training to be a Highway Patrolman in Alabama. We got to pick 3 counties to be relocated in after he graduated. We were only engaged at the time and really had no clue where we would be put. We just had to trust God would place us where He wanted us. Part of me wanted to move to the mountains of North Alabama and just start completely over. The other part of me wanted to just move across the state line to Mobile County, just 45 minutes from our hometown. I was a clueless young woman and had no idea what God would do in our lives. I felt it had to be something big,something huge,something extraordinary. By God's will, we were placed in Mobile County. We had no clue what a blessing this would be in many ways.

Our journey of surrender and faith began to unfold once we wed in December of 2006. We were not placed at our apartment by chance either. Our landlord has been used by God so much to bless us in big and small ways. I don't know if she knows that or not,but she's been a blessing. We long for the country again and to be close to family and friends. We long for our boys to know what we knew growing up. Endless days in the summer sun,cold winter nights building fires in the backyard. They haven't known that yet to the extent that we have. Not all is lost though.

Surrendering to God is not easy,ever. It always means dying to something you want or desire. But it also means God opening up doors you would have never seen if not giving up your desires. God has given us more than we could have ever asked for. He has worked in ways we would have never known. We have seen his provision countless times in big and small ways while living here. At times I want to scream. I want to just leave and move somewhere that would seem easy for us. Some days I want to have the "easy" life,as if any life is easy,but that is what we think as people. We think someone has it easier by seeing pictures on Facebook or reading their blogs. We all have trials,struggles, and problems we will face in life.

God knows what we desire as a family,but He knows what we need as a family. It says in Isaiah 55:7-9 that His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We're still living in the city watching God do miracles. I am reading Pain Redeemed by Natasha Metzler,if you haven't checked our her site you really need too. A line that stuck with me from the book is this: Every miracle contains sorrow,for without pain there is no need for a miracle. But they also contain redemption. God is using my husband in many ways in his job. God is using us in our church. God is molding us and shaping us to what He wants right here in the city.


Even though we may not get everything we want,we can take refuge in the One who does know everything we need. He's our strong tower. He's our refuge. He's our very present help in times of trouble.

Where is God calling you too that maybe you don't want to go? It could be a physical place or a spiritual place in your walk.


Linking up with Time-Warp Wife for Titus 2sdays.

From Missions to Motherhood

When we let God change our hearts and desires it really is amazing. Sometimes He does it without us even knowing it, I think. Sometimes He does it and we resist and rebel.

I really didn't know He was changing mine. Looking back on the pas 6 years I can see that He did. He did not necessarily take my former desires away,but He put other ones in me that take priority over the former ones.

I longed to be in foreign missions after I went on a mission trip in 2003 to Honduras. It was my first time out of country and I was excited. I had no clue what it would be like. It was heartbreaking. It was inspiring. It was hard. Seeing people so in need of things that I had taken fore-granted every. single. day. Seeing children with no one to care for them and no where to sleep. Seeing very young men in prison or detention centers that were so hardened towards anyone. It was an eye opener for me, a young high school graduate, that came from a land of plenty. I had family who loved me. I had food galore. I had clothes,a bed,a home,and I had Jesus. It shook me to the core. It radically changed how I looked at things once I came back to America. Like a believer set on fire for the first time I wanted to run,to go,to help. I wanted to go live there and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I prayed and prayed for that country. I had a heart for the people.

I never got to go do what I wanted. I never had an open door to go back there. I ended up going to Bible college,a small Baptist college in North Mississippi. I married the love of my life and we moved to the big city. I haven't forgotten about Honduras or missions. Life just took me a different course. I thought is this really what I should be doing? What about the children,the women,the people? Where are they? God heard my prayers those days in my dorm at college when I asked Him to mold me and shape me into the image of Jesus. Oh boy did He. He gave me 3 precious boys,who have done so much for me.

I fought it at first. I didn't want to be just a Mother. I mean, I sit at home all day taking care of children who have no clue how hard it is. I wanted to do something big for God. Something important. Changing diapers? Fixing 3 meals a day,not to mention snacks? Important? Yes,very. Jesus washed the nasty,dirty feet of his disciples. He got down on their level,He served them. I am being the hands and feet of Jesus when I care for my children and husband. God began to speak to me about my children being those in need of Jesus. Just because they are born here in America doesn't mean they know Jesus. No one does until they are told what He has done for them. It was my job to rear these precious children and guide them to the Lord in all that I do. It struck me. It was a glorious eye opener. It was like I had my own mission field in my home. I could literally pour so much of the Word into these boys that they could be so full of God like I wanted the people in Honduras to be. It was amazing.

I can look back and say I still long to do mission work overseas,but for now I am so passionate about my boys. I love them with a fierce love and it's not me at all,t's all the Lord. I want them to know more about Jesus,God, and the Word that they will impact their generation at an early age. God put His heart in me for my children. It isn't easy and it's a lot of blood,sweat,and tears. It's a lot of praying and crying too. But these are my little lost souls that I am I responsible for. I have to plant seeds so the Holy Spirit can move upon them and draw them to the Living God. I pray daily that when the Spirit draws them they will come and they will surrender. I want them to be radical for Jesus. I want them to love Him so much and live for Him in every detail of their lives. What we do with our children is so important. It's so vital. They will have to make decisions we are making today and that is important work.

Mothers we have a mission field in our own home!! Don't forsake it. Embrace it and draw your strength from the Lord. He will uphold you with His mighty right hand.

The work of the Holy Spirit is so amazing. It's so sacred. God loves us so much and wants to use us,if we will just open our hearts to Him.What desire does God want to put in you?


Linking up with Darlene @ Time-Warp Wife for Titus 2sdays.