New Every Morning

I'm sharing over at Laced With Grace today. Won't you join us?

Many days when I lay my head down to sleep I have regrets. I think about the day as it unfolded and how I reacted to situations that came my way. Some nights I have more regrets than others and that upsets me. Have you been there? Do you cringe at how you reacted during the day to certain situations? Either your children disobeyed for the hundredth time or your husband didn't take the trash out again. So you just lost it. You either screamed or said hurtful things to your loved ones. You let your emotions get ahead of your mouth.

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Smiling At the Future

I have to admit that sometimes I fear the future. I fear what could happen tomorrow or twenty years down the road. I fear things my children may have to endure from heartbreaks to broken bones. We can never know what the future holds. It can catch us by surprise with good and bad things. God has been really dealing with me about worrying about what my future holds. At times I just wish there wasn't any turmoil in the world and it would be a place of peace and comfort.

Come join me at The Imperfect Wives today as I share some of my heart.

Our Prayers Matter

 

Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that my husband has bad days like I do. He works in Law Enforcement and is around a lot negative. I stay home all day teaching, rearing, and home-making. I can have days where I am so tired and grumpy. When my husband sees that happening, he tries to give me a break. I never doubt that he prays for me too. I can feel his prayers and know He intercedes on my behalf. I have been trying to be more intentional about recognizing when he has had a bad day. Respecting him in that regard is very important in our marriage. I have started praying for his day with more compassion.

I'm writing over at The Imperfect Wives today. Won't you join me?

A Three Fold Cord- Praying For Your Husband

As I was sewing a bedspread back together that got torn, the Holy Spirit brought something to my mind about our marriages. Many times in marriage we can become torn apart through the storms we go through. We can drift apart due to the struggles we face every day.  There will be times when we don't see eye to eye with our husband or vice versa. We can began to feel distant from our husband.

I'm writing over at The Imperfect Wives today. Come let's talk about praying for our men!

Turning 31: Moving Forward,Not Going Back

Today is my birthday. Sometimes I forget how old I am,anyone with me? It's hard to believe that I am 31 today. Thirty years ago today I came into this world. I am happy that God has given me thirty years on this earth,but I am a bit sad too. I am growing up and I finally feel like an adult. No one ever told me that growing up meant you were growing old. I always longed for the day that I felt like an adult,well it's here.

God has been more than good to me my time here on earth so far. He is a faithful God. He protected me through some dangerous times and has brought me this far. I am blessed with an awesome husband and 3 wonderful little boys. I'm healthy and I am happy. I never thought I would be where I am today,but I am very thankful that I am.

Looking back I had no clue what God had planned for my life,but I thought I did. I thought I knew who I would marry. I thought I knew where I would be living. I thought I knew what I would be spending my days doing. I thought I would marry such and such. I thought I would be living in some foreign land (Honduras particularly). I thought I would be doing mission work. Wow. Was I wrong or what? Aren't you glad we serve a mighty God? He is all knowing and He has best in store for us. He knew before I was born on February 20,1983 what I would be doing everyday of my life. It's wild to think He knows what each one of us will do each day we wake up. It is so comforting too.

I don't have what I thought I would have 10 years ago,but I am so glad that I let God lead my life. It was hard at times. I rebelled many times and did things my way. I went with my feelings instead of the peace of God,yet He was merciful to me. He some how kept me from making a lot of horrible mistakes that would alter where I am today. There is no doubt in my mind that I am right in the middle of God's will,what He desires for me. Oh what sweet victory! God has been giving me some desires of my heart since this year began. It's so amazing and I am so unworthy of it all. I began writing with a devotional site online, Laced With Grace. I will also be venturing out and writing for another site,a ministry reaching out to wives, called The Imperfect Wives. I would have never dreamed I would be doing this. I feel the most weak in my life right now. But that is what God wants. He wants to use me when I am weak,so He can be strong through me.

At times, I do long for the foreign mission field. I would be lying if I said that I did not desire to do that someday. God had a whole lot of work to still do in me. I have been through some stuff the last 10 years that has shaped me and molded me. My husband and I have been through hard times (not necessarily with one another) and God has really shown His might. He is a good God. He is a faithful God. He is a Mighty God. I am so glad that He is my God.

I look forward to the next year of my life and what God has in store for me and for my family. I have some things on my heart and some things I want to do. I am just trusting God to bring it to fruition. He is a God of purpose.

How do you celebrate your birthday? Do you reflect back on your life much?

        

What Matters Most

When I was a younger I wanted to be good at something. I never really was growing up. I wasn't a sports girl,I wasn't in the band or cheer leading,and I wasn't artistic. I always felt like I just wasn't good at anything. I longed to be though. While in college I joined the drama (human videos) team at our church at the time. I had finally found a place I fit it. I loved ministering on the weekends and some during the week with the Joshua Generation. We saw powerful services where God really did touch people's hearts. It was so awesome. Once I married and moved I had to, of course, step down from the team.

I thought I will be good at being a wife and my husband said I was even when I failed badly.  I do feel I have come a long way in my role as a wife,though I still have a lot of room for improvement. When I became a Mom, I still struggled with wanting to be good at something that seemed significant. I learned to make jewelry in college and I did that off and on until I had children. I just didn't have time when I become a new Mother and put it away. I tell everyone that with our first son we were just trying to survive. Two years ago I started making jewelry again. I thought I would hit it big and lots of people would buy things. I wanted to offer pretty things at an affordable price and I wanted to earn a little money to help ends meet. Well, I was doing more give-a-ways than selling jewelry. Once again I just couldn't find the time to make and make and make. So I had to put it away. I felt like I failed.

I have always loved to write and I started a blog a few years back in 2008. I had time to write,but not much to write about. Now,that I have been through the ringer a little bit  I have things to write about,but not much time. I dreamed of becoming a professional writer. Ahh to impact the world with my words,my struggles,and my joys. I realize now that I do not have time for that,not like I need too. I can still write,but I can't dedicate enough time to it like I need too. So... what am I good at that is significant?

I thought about this a couple weeks ago. What do I do good that is having a significant impact? I was cleaning the bath tub when it hit me. I am good at home making. I am good at balancing the priorities of home. It sure doesn't sound too wonderful to most. I have friends who ask how do I do it? How do you keep a home clean,tend to children,and still have time to spend with your husband? Plan,schedule,and plan some more. I don't plan because I am organized,I plan because it helps me stay organized. I am good at making cleaning schedules,scheduling play time,scheduling hubby time,and scheduling me time. I learned if you do not plan things,they will more than likely not happen. If you want a birthday party for someone, you don't just wait for people to invite themselves,the cake to bake itself,or the decorations to decorate the place. You have to plan it out. So it is with our lives. I don't plan everything to a tee,but I do plan most of what we do around the house.

I felt proud (in a good way) that I was good at something that was significant and I am only good at it because of the Lord. I had never cleaned much before I got married. I had never done laundry or washed many dishes or cooked much. I had to learn how and learned to love it. I love making my home suitable for us to live in. I love to cook meals that fill our bellies. I love to sit in the floor and play with my boys. I fail very much,so I am not saying I am good all the time. There are days where I do not clean the bath tub like I planned. There are days where I beg my boys to go play by themselves so I can get something done that is way over due. There are days I just want to give up. I look at my husband and my boys and I can't. God has given me so much to be happy about. I couldn't possibly just quit.

I'm good at making jewelry or writing,but that doesn't necessarily make me significant. I kept looking for something that others recognized as significant and that is something I struggle with even now. I know I shouldn't. My husband loves that I stay at home. He tells me countless times that he is glad I want to stay at home and school and take care of our boys. He tells me he is glad I clean and keep the house up like I do. Really, his opinion should matter if anyone's.

We are called to do whatever we do for the Lord. Whether you are flipping burgers,writing checks,taking orders,cleaning up your home,or writing books, do it all for the glory of the Lord. Our lives are a reflection of Him,or they are supposed to be.

Be encouraged that God says what makes you significant. If you are seeking His face and seeking to honor Him in your life, it is significant and no one can say otherwise.

Battling Insecurities

My guest blogger today is Kelly. I met Kelly at the small Bible college in Mississippi that we attended together along with her husband,Will. She is such a sweet,bubbly person. She has since moved away to Texas,but we stay connected via Facebook. I know you will be blessed by what she shares with us today.

    Insecurity.  It's something I've struggled with my entire life.  Even after I got saved at the age of 12, I battled insecurity.  I still do.  God has really been dealing with me this year on overcoming my insecurities.  I even spoke to a small group of ladies about it in a devotional.  Why?  Because as Christian women, we can be insecure too.  I messaged some friends to tell me their biggest insecurity. I appreciated so many being open and honest with me to share their hidden secret.  Some never responded, and I can understand how this can be a touchy subject.  As Christian women, we need to learn to lean on each other more and be vulnerable.  I believe God blesses when we let down our walls and let others in.  Sometimes I think we confuse humility with insecurity.  We feel like if we feel good about ourselves then we must not be humble.  That's such a twisted view of humility.  I want to share some different insecurities and some Biblical Truths that can help us.  God's Word has so many verses to help us see that we don't have to dwell in our insecurities, but with His help we can overcome!

Insecurity:  Finances.  Is there enough money to support our family?  This is one that I have battled as an adult for sure.  There have been many times that we barely were getting by, but we made it!  God has always been faithful, even when my faith was so small.  There was one time in particular that we desperately needed money for bills, and that same week someone sent us a check in the mail. I was in awe of what God had done.  Sadly, even though He always provides I still worry at times if we will make it.

Biblical Truth:  Matthew 6: 25 says, "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink, nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  Is not life more that food, and the body more that clothing?"


Insecurity: Appearances.  Overwhelmingly, this was the biggest struggle of my christian friends I polled and also for me.  I thought I was fat even when I was a bean pole.  There's something wrong with that!  Now I struggle with how much my body has changed after having 4 kids.  My husband is constantly telling me how beautiful I am, and I just don't believe him.  I'm trying my best to be happy with who I am, and what God wants me to be.  I do believe He wants me to be healthy, not perfect. 

Biblical Truth: Proverbs 31:30 says, "Charm is deceitful and beauty if vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."


Insecurity: Am I a good mom?  That's something that all mom's struggle with at some point.  Comparing ourselves to other mom's, and seeing if we measure up.  God just wants us to look to Him for guidance.  To me a good mom is a mom who loves her kids and wants to teach them about Christ.  A few years ago I homeschooled my oldest daughter, Katelyn.  After I had the boys, I really felt overwhelmed and put her in public school.  I struggled with this decision, but God gave me peace about it.  One thing that I make a priority is doing a short devotion and prayer time in the morning before I take her to school.  It really has helped both of us with starting our day off right.

Biblical Truth:  Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it."


Those are just a few of the insecurities we all face.  I have in no way "arrived" when it comes to this subject.  God is still working in my life, and I pray that we all can overcome our "secret" insecurity and be confident and secure in the Biblical Truth's. 


I want to thank Kelly for being my guest. I was definitely blessed and encouraged by her words. Remember to pray for her and her family. They are ministering to a vital group.the youth. They really are a God seeking family.

Kelly Hutchinson is a stay-at-home mom and wife.  Her husband is a youth minister at First Baptist Church (FBC) Jacksonville, TX. They have 3 children at home: Katelyn (8), Isaiah (2), and Zack (1).  They also have a baby girl in Heaven, Ava Synclaire.  Kelly loves to help minister to the Youth and help minister to their own children at home. 

Cultivating Your Marriage

My husband and I went out last week on a date. It was so nice leaving the house without having to sneak out or make sure the baby is napping before we had to go out. Our babies are growing up and it's bittersweet. We're able to do more things with less hassle. That's the sweet part. The bitter part is my babies are getting big.

How many of you know that's it is hard to balance children,life,and marriage? *raises hand* I do! I dated my husband for a year and two months before we got married. Seven of those months he was in patrol school for the Alabama Highway Patrol (State Troopers). It was sort of a long distance relationship,though we had been friends for almost 5 years. Four months after we got married we found out we were expecting our first child. We had no clue what the future held. We were just love birds. We had no idea that our relationship would become something to fight for and I don't mean that in a bad way. So fast forward 5 1/2 years and we have fought hard. Not so much because of issues we had,but Satan hates anything God honoring. We have become a family of five since 2006 on the day we married in December.

We learned we had to be intentional about our time together as a couple. For awhile we were just trying to survive a needy infant (our first son) who wanted our attention constantly. We lived away from family and that can make it even harder. We are picky about who we leave our children with and that has made it not so easy either. We had to be creative about spending time at home when you are a one income family too. The enemy wants nothing more than for us to drift apart from one another. He loves destroying marriages and families. I've seen it in the lives of friends and family, sadly. So fighting for our marriage is something we believe in and something we put on the top of our list. We realized and were give some good advice: The kids will leave one day,but the spouse will always be there. With that, we knew we could not get so consumed with our kids or work that we did not continue to romance and communicate. We are very connected with our boys,more so than most families I know,but we know that one day it will just be the two of us. We have to make time for one another now,so we don't become disconnected. If we never spend time with our husband our love may seem like it's faded. We have to cultivate the relationship just like we do with the Lord. We have to work at it and grow in it.


Here are a few things we do to stay connected:

• Pray- We pray together and for each other. That is so important. When a husband and wife become closer to God,then they will become closer to each other.
• Talk- We talk each night when the kids are in bed. We talk throughout the day,but we like to talk without interruptions. 
• Intimacy- This is something that is important. It's more than just sex,it's love. Holding hands,hugs,sweet kisses,and ect. 
• Home dates- We try every Friday night (when we aren't gone,which isn't much) to watch a movie. Even on nights that he works we watch a movie. He gets off at 9 p.m. The boys are in bed and we curl up on the couch,pick out a movie,and enjoy. That to me is so important,making time at home.
• Going out- We try to at least once a month to go out of the house alone. My Mother graciously comes to watch the boys. It's nice to get all dolled up and go out like we used too when we dated.
• Cards- I love giving my husband cards randomly or write him notes. He's not big on doing the same,but he does remember occasions. Instead he gives me flowers randomly,which I love!
• Friends- We have at least 2 other couples from church that we stay connected with outside of church. It helps to see other couples interacting and just being around them. 

We aren't a perfect couple,but we are a praying couple. I love my husband more than I did the first time I told him so. Watching him work hard everyday,play with our boys,discipline our boys,guide our family,and interact with other people just deepens that love. He is a wonderful man,just right for me. We know God has great plans for our family and marriage. We just want to glorify Him through it all.

I encourage you ladies to pray for your husband. That is the most important thing we can do. Tell him how much you appreciate him and adore him. Let him know he is respected and loved. Our children have to see us loving each other as God intended. They are depending on us to show them a God centered marriage,so let's not fall short.

He Will Meet Our Need

This is a verse that over the last 5 years I have been learing. It's not been easy to learn God will truly supply all that you need. It's hard. It's tiring. It's glorious. We're a one income family and that can be tough. At times I have thought about trying to bring income into the home. When I tried to do so,it failed. I would get so frustrated. I couldn't understand why it would not work for us. I finally just backed off the idea. God had always taken care of us no matter what. I don't know why I couldn't just let Him continue to do so.

I have been reading Pain Redeemed by Natasha Metzler. If you have never read her blog, you have too. She is so inspiring and is very gifted by God when it comes to writing. In her book she talks about miracles. That's when it struck me. When we try to meet our own needs, we miss the miracles of God. That's not to say we cannot try to make extra money,but sometimes God may not want us too. He wants us to trust Him completely. I kept thinking if I could just make a little extra money making jewelry we could start saving more a month, but God saw differently though. When we don't trust God with every area of our life, we can miss some very amazing things He wants to do. There were many times when we were first married that I wasn't sure at times about certain financial issues. God did above and beyond our needs. Just last year I had to have mouth surgery and it was going to be quite expensive. I had to go to an oral surgeon and was so scared of the cost. It was much higher than I thought too,but God took care of all of it except $283 exactly. Then, we got a refund for a hundred dollars in the mail. I was so thankful and so surprised. I shouldn't have been surprised. God loves us and He wants to meet our needs. God just wants us to trust Him.

We're waiting to find a home now. It is so draining at times. We found one that seemed perfect. It was so us. We started on the process and God put a halt to it. We hit that brick wall pretty hard. We both were so bummed and upset. We knew that we shouldn't push it though. It was almost like God pulled the carpet out from under us. The only thing I keep hearing from God is wait. I'm not a very patient person,even after being a Mother for 5 years. I have no clue when God will move us or if He will. I am trying to be content where we are in our very small apartment with 3 boys. I believe if we are faithful in small things, God will make us ruler over bigger things. So that is what we are doing. Easy? No. There are days I want to scream so loud get us out of here! It's a small apartment with 5 people and it can get cramped. We love hosting people,but that also can be hard at times. God knows best,I just have to remind myself of that daily every second of the day.

My parents raised 3 kids in a small 2 bedroom mobile home until I was in the 7th grade. We moved into a larger mobile home,but still only a 3 bedroom. I know God will sustain us if He sees fit for us to live here longer than we want. It's not easy praying God whatever You want with this house situation. It's much easier to pray Lord, show us the house you want for us. Isn't that part of dying to self? Praying God's will over our own no matter how hard it is. Refinement is not easy,but it is necessary. 

Not Letting Life Rule You

My husband has a different schedule than some men. It used to horrible,but over the last few years it has straightened out a lot. When we first got married it was insane the amount it changed from week to week. He works in Law Enforcement and it is similar to any kind of hospital job. We were only married 4 months when we got pregnant and 9 1/2 months later we had our first son. It's then that I began to hate his job. The shift changed each week still and it was 12 hour shifts. A crying baby, breastfeeding problems,and recovering from a c-section made it even worse. Some weeks he never was home on time. We didn't have help 15 or 20 minutes down the road and had no friends. It was so hard. I became bitter towards his job and supervisors. They weren't even really at fault! I had to have someone to blame.

When our first born turned 1 we found out we were pregnant with our second child. It was the same thing over. Long nights and long days. I am naturally a routine person. My Mother says I came out on a schedule. You can imagine what I was like with absolutely no schedule. Irritable, cranky,and irrational. I kept wishing and dreaming for another job for my husband. I knew he was called to do what he was doing,but I was tired of doing it alone it seemed. That by no means insinuates that my husband never helped. He helped SO much when he was home,but when he was at work he rarely got a minute to stop by. They keep him pretty busy,no really busy. He had to go work details that took him out of town for 4-5 days and I was weary. I needed a routine so bad. I needed to know which day it was instead of feeling so lost. Since his job was not a 8-5 Monday-Friday, it was hard to have my days figured out. It was bad enough having one person in the house on a totally different schedule. By the time my second son was almost a year old I made my mind up, something had to change.

Sleep was getting easier with my oldest,who as a baby/toddler, hated to sleep. My second son slept much better than his older brother. We started implementing a bedtime because since my first came into the world my life was turned upside down. I wanted them asleep by at least 9. That gave me an hour to wind down and spend time with my husband, whose schedule was beginning to become more sensible. He was put on a shift and rarely had a different one unless he had court or school. I had struggled to read my Bible. Oh man. I was so used to having 2-3 hours every morning to pray and read the Word. That went out the window when the babies arrived. I somehow found time for a little reading and had to learn to pray throughout the day. It was not easy,but I had to have the boys and I on a schedule. I did not let it slide on my husband's off days,which are different each week. Things began to get much better. Good thing it did,because I was pregnant with my third son,when our second one turned a year old.

We are still on a schedule that has gotten much better. My oldest is 5 now. My second to oldest is 3 1/2 and my youngest will be 2 in a couple of weeks. Sometimes you just have to take life by the horns and not let it rule you. There was nothing I could do about my husband's job. I had to get over myself and get with the program. My children and husband needed me. God gave me the strength and grace to make it. I no longer hate my husband's job like I did. He is ministering to many people and many of his co-workers. God is using him mightily and blessing us. A quote I heard from a movie we watched last night (Faith Like Potatoes), "The best condition for a miracle is difficulty." How true is that. Never forget the God who formed you and who knows just what to do.

New Book & Website Launches

I wanted to share a new website that has been launched. Many of you know Lynn and Dineen through blogging. You're aware of their site and how it is a place to help encourage those in mismatched marriages spiritually. Well, they have a new website and a new book!! I am so happy they are getting it into the hands of many women who need it!!

This is their book Winning Him Without Words. 

I know it will encourage many women. 

Their new site is Winning Him Without Words also. 

joy comes with the morning- writing from my heart

I wrote a post a couple of months ago on my other blog about feeling down,discouraged,and joyless. Since then God has been working in me and showing me somethings. I started doing the online Bible study that At the Well is doing each week. I've always wanted to study more on the names of God and this happen to be doing that very thing. I had been trying to set aside some time daily to read the Word,but it was so hard with 2 little ones. My oldest does not take naps and even when my youngest is asleep I still have Daniel to take care of. I just started doing the study when Aaron went to sleep and made my mind up I was going to do it every day. I had to do it. I needed to realize somethings about myself and my life.

God showed me that I complain WAY too much about the blessings He had given me. I saw my blessings as cursings. Not that I called them that,but the way I complained you would think I thought they were. I also was not seeing the struggles as a way God wanted to perfect me and also for me to call upon Him for help and strength. Instead I thought I must be doing something wrong. That was the wrong mindset and assumption. Through this study I am doing God has been showing me that He is my help and He wants me to call on Him more daily with the tasks that I think are too hard for me to handle. I knew this,I knew I knew! I had just forgotten I guess. Every done that? He has been showing me that the struggles I have are not too hurt me or discourage me,but for me to see I cannot do it alone and that through these I can either grow stronger or get weaker. It was just up to me to choose which I would do. Amazing, isn't it? Amazing what God will tell you when you take the time to stop and listen to Him.

I was so accustomed to having all the time I wanted to pray and read the Word without interruption. I did not move out of my parents house until I was 23. I was the last child to leave the nest and most days (except Monday and Tuesdays when I was in college for 3 years) I had the house to myself. I could pray as long as I wanted and as loud as I wanted. I could read the Bible as long as I wanted,when I wanted. Well,things change when you get married and have children. Is that bad? Nope,but it is different. You have a husband to take care of and a house to tend too. After my 2 boys came (we were only married 4 months before I got pregnant with the first baby) I thought,wow, when can I read or pray? I like to do mine in silence or with some music. Well, that pretty much does not happen too often. I then started thinking I was failing God because I did not do it a certain way,religious? Yes,very. I was trying to put this new skin in the old skin and well that just was not working. I realized through the passage about the old and new wine skins that I was a different person than I was before my boys arrived. I really was. I had grew a lot in God through lots of struggles. No insurance,finances,major surgery,and many other things. So I had to do things different. Read when I can read,pray when I can pray. Pray throughout the day. Most importantly incorporate that time in with my boys,especially my oldest son. They were my ministry,along with my husband now. Not people in churches when I was on a drama team,not young ladies in the dorm when I was at college. But my children and my husband were my #1 ministry and concern.

After realizing these things, I begin to look at my daily life different. I had never lost my joy,but I was allowing the circumstances to determine my joy. I was happy,not joyful. Happiness is determined by the circumstances around you,joy is not, joy is in all things. Once I realized this, I started feeling alive again. I really started to see things the way God wanted me too. The Word was alive again to me. God was not far off. It was as if the time of silence was over. It was and still is an awesome feeling! Sometimes God is silent through our trials. It is't that He is not near us though. He is always near us. I can't quiet describe the feeling I have. It's almost the feeling I had years ago,when you are smitten with your love. I never lost that love for God,but I allowed all the struggles to cloud it and the devil was trying to make me think I had lost it,along with the joy. It was all still there, I just had to dig and stop seeing things through my eyes and see them through His eyes.

We have started daily Bible readings with Daniel and prayer. We have a children's Bible we read a story out of and pray with him. He loves it! We also started the Love Dare devotional together as a couple and I am doing the online study. It feels great to be in the Word and learning again! It really does something to get in the Word. It will change your whole day! I have been writing on this a little each day,since my time is limited. I love to write and share from my heart. So be encouraged,joy comes with the morning!